Envy: Right Or Wrong

Envy is an interesting emotion.

Envy is first and foremost an alert. It tells you that you are – or have – less than you thought and long for more. It makes you feel resentful, deprived, and less than. It makes you – not someone else – believe that you’re not enough.

Envy makes you question why someone is more successful or has more than you do.

Sometimes, envy challenges your values.

Now, envy evokes different reactions. In response to the experience of envy, you could become frustrated, humiliated, and depressed, or use envy as inspiration.

The question of why someone else is more or has more than you is valid. A lot depends however on how you answer it. You could resign yourself to reality as it is and accept the fact that someone is more or has more. You could as well draw a comparison between yourself and the person you envy. (In general, comparisons are demoralizing. In the case of envy, however, a comparison can be helpful.)

Is the person you envy better, smarter, or harder working than you? Explore each of the possibilities in depth. If your assessment is honest, you’re likely to learn something that will help you advance. If the best you can do is explain things away with “lucky breaks”, you were likely, not objective.

Luck comes to those who are ready to “get lucky”. Were you – or are you – as prepared or as qualified or as diligent as the person you envy? If not, isn’t it time to catch up? Envy that serves a purpose can be a nudge in the right direction.

There is one more thing that applies to envy and let’s face it: not only to envy. Some people don’t hesitate to compromise their integrity, bend social norms, or skirt the rules to get what they want. These people often advance faster, have more money, and acquire more stuff. To those unfamiliar with their tactic, they appear to be very successful. (They are usually more “successful” than others.)

Every type of success has a cost. In some cases, it’s education, dedication, and hard work. In others, it’s blood, sweat, and tears. Dishonest “success” has a price, too. It comes with fear, often followed by public shame.

Jean Rostand said:
“We spend our time envying people whom we wouldn’t wish to be.”

If you know that the person you’re envious of has achieved success dishonestly, ask yourself whether a life of fear and shame is acceptable to you.

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So, is envy right or wrong?

Yevgeny Yevtushenko said:
“Envy is an insult to oneself.”

If the only way you deal with envy is self-demeaning, of course, it’s wrong.

If you’re envious of ill-gotten gains, move on. Living in constant fear of being found out is not a life worth living.

If, however, you analyze your feelings and the reasons behind someone being more or having more than you and come to realize that the instance of envy provided you with a blueprint for your own growth, envy can be a blessing in disguise.

To be envious is human. It’s how you react to your envy and how it impacts your actions afterward that makes it either right or wrong.

#Envy #RightOrWrong #Spirituality #HumanistChurch #HumanistHolisticChurch

 

 

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